Happy Holidays to all the TWAHTS

Happy Holidays!

The next skate is January 9th, so get the new gear all rubbed in before then. 

 

No shows on Thursdays

Ok...So for now there is just going to be text here to have my disappointment known throughout the world. Even in the farthest reaches of the Australian outback, bushmen will know that the five hereafter named gentlemen are not to be trusted in any way, shape or form. They are a the lowest of scum, perhaps on a lower rung than even Miroslav or Saddam. 

I ask, did you suddenly get your periods? Was Nick at Night running a Saved by the Bell marathon? By chance, did you realize you were cocksucking fags and find out that Clay Aiken was in town looking for some hot man sweat?

Be prepared. I have time tonight and the latest version of photoshop I have been meaning to play with. I wonder what John F. would look like with a donkey?

The losers:

John F.

Geoff W.

TJ

Mike S.

Chris D.

New Goalie to Start Next Week? Watch then vote.

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Thanksgiving Day Turkey Shoot won by Team White 10-1

Ok, so Team White actually lost 8-6. But since most people will only read the headline, worth a shot. In actuality, the second annual TWAHT Thanksgiving Day Turkey Shoot thing has come and gone, with great success and an incredible time had by all. 

We couldnt perform the long awaited skills competition due to lack of voltage (ie dead batteries) so we went straight into game mode. 

And what a game! Both sides had spectacular goaltending, tough D, and pretty playmaking and scoring. Since many of the TWAHT's couldnt make it, the substitutes brought in did very well as the replacement cheap bastards that TWAHT alumni would be proud of. A little hacking, tripping, hooking and general "in your face" fun.

I have some video to go through, and TJ has some additional pictures, so this will be part one of a few parts.

After the game, the TWAHT-ers enjoyed snacks, beer, and a shrimp platter with REAL cocktail sauce. Not just ketchup and horseradish mixed up, but real sauce. No BBQ, since we need to get a new one. Frankly, WOI owes us one, but ain't no water coming from that stone. The day was warm, the beer cold, and the usual tomfoolery priceless.

Some group shots:

Ok, so we finally have a picture of TWAHT's most ornery player, Pete. Since it wasnt 9pm,  Pete was still awake and available for picture time.
The young subs. Yea, some day all three of YOU will be fat and lazy too. Hanging out at WOI until 3 am looking for your car keys and wondering if the wife will notice you stumbling home reeking of beer and brats. Or falling off the O'ROURKE picnic table with a bloody head. Or staying until 6 am when the hockey moms and dads bring their kids for morning practice...enjoy your speed now. It's downhill from here...(im just fucking jealous)
Bill and TJ showing why they are good influences for todays youth. Here, describing what a TWAHT is, in medical terms. 
Chan wondering how the hell she got involved in this. 

John does the hokey pokey and turns himself around. That IS what its all about.
Front passenger seat of Ray's truck. I see it is only at half capacity right now, and a seemingly low count of fast food articles. Disappointing. The last time it was filled to the window line, and emptying it filled a commercial garbage pail. 
The lonely shrimp. These lasted about 14.5 seconds. Kudos on the special china.
Matt is officially inducted into TWAHT with a sip of beer and a smile.



Tim S. shows us what a real hockey player looks like. As part of the group of guys  that were looking on the ice for the missing jawbone and teeth, and helping him off the ice with blood pouring down his chin two years ago, I can say looking good, Tim!

More to come...

Thanksgiving Day Lineup

Ok, so the second annual Turkey day "Im going to get in trouble with the wife for being drunk and falling asleep when the in laws come" hockey game is all set, and the fun starts at 10 am VERY SHARP!

PLEASE be there early and READY TO GO by 10.

We will start off with the shooting competition, and skating competition. All must participate.Ray E. will be bringing the guns again. Each of us will get 2 shots. Same with the skating, each will get 2 runs.

Then the game will begin!

Here is the lineup for now, subject to slight modifications. Please bring both color jerseys just in case we need to change things around:

Team White:

Mike M. in goal
Bill D.
Chris D.
Geoff W.
Fred C.
Carl V.
Ed T.
Bill P.
Ray E.
T.J.
Cooke L.
Cooke son #1


Team Dark:

Tom B. in goal
Bill W.
Bill W.'s brother #1
Bill W.'s brother #2
Tim S.
Geza
Pete W.
John A.
Mike S.
Cooke son #2
Pete W.'s son
Mike S.'s son

Radar guns and rubber legs

Ray E. was kind enough to bring his radar equipment last night so we can determine hardest shot, and fastest skater (Why?) Fred C. was supposed to videotape but a few synapses refused to fire in his head, so he forgot. Booooo. :-) So no videotape boys, sorry. You can soap bag Fred at the Thanksgiving Turkey Shoot (what the hell do we call this annual thing anyway?)
I know everyone is anxious to see the results, so here they are, from fastest to slowest skater, in MPH:

24 Bill M (I want a redo on THIS one! )
20 Vesa/Carl
20 John F.
20 Bubba
19 Chris D.
19 Matt P.
19 Bill D.
18 Ray E.
18 Pete w.
18 T.J.
18 John A.
17 Geza
16 Joe M. (after a nice fall, good recovery!)
15 Bill P... who gets the first ever TWAHT Gumby Award

The goalies did well:

16 Tom B.
14 Mike M.

Now the next challenge was fastest shot, which was had a great variance in speed between all of us. ONLY THE FIRST SHOT counted, boys. Just like in a real game, ya only got one shot to put it in (well, I mean in most games that have a defense) Again, fastest to slowest in MPH. Feel free to convert to Km if it makes you feel better.

71 Bubba (nice one!)
68 Matt P.
68 Bill M.
66 Chris D.
65 Ray E.
59 T.J.
58 Bill D.
58 John A.
54 Joe M.
48 John F. who gets the first TWAHT Limp Wrist award.

No complaining allowed! It isnt my fault if you suck donkey balls. For t-day we'll each get 2 tries of skating and shooting and we'll take the average.

Remember, next week is the annual TWAHT Turkey Day Shoot. I am not sure what the official title is, but it starts at 10 am. Bring BOTH a light and dark jersey as Bill Weber will be assigning teams. A post about that will be coming next week. Bring your cameras if you can, I can only take so many pics.

Ode to the guy who drives the Zamboni

Tj. Our illustrious cleaner of ice, and occasional backup goalie. Known to be the boy toy of Linda after hours, and caretaker of her pussy (cats). I have written a short poem.

Tj's the guy who cleans the ice

rididng a zamboni sure loooks nice

from Linda's hair he pulls the lice

around the rink he kills the mice.

Putting down hot water each night

around and around the rink is his flight

he knows what to do and does it right

so a bunch of old drunks can skate tonight.

Thank you TJ, for cleaning so well

working for Furgie has got to be hell

as a backup goalie you sure are swell

when Bellini doesnt show we cant even tell.

So this ode is for you my zamboni friend

cutting and scraping from one end to end

around the corner and into the bend

our ice it is that you so well mend.

Save of the week

Mike M. on Bubba's shootout attempt. Pad, then glove save. The fact that the controversial goal by Bubba last week was against Mike is the very meaning of true Karma. Dark is vindicated, and the victory for Dark is forever etched in the bits and bytes of the internet for all eternity. Bill W, by the way, ended up with the shootout winning goal for Dark.

10 greatest TWAHT moments

Fellow TWAHTs,

It is with great pleasure and gentle rubbing of our collective Gspots that I request your involvement in ...........the 10 Greatest TWAHT moments in history. The list will be compiled by my fellow hair pies, and be released at the Thanksgiving Day Banquet. (Somewhere between the grill and the Andros shrimp cocktail platter.)

I will kick it off with the last nights mention.....Andros going toe to toe with the Hockey Shiekh (what the f-ck where you thinking??) around 2004?

Do not be a beef curtain, or a cameltoe. Post your entry.....

Controversial Goal Causes Riots in Bridgeport

NEWSFLASH: 11/6/08 Bridgeport, CT 11:52 pm
Police were called to the Wonderland of Ice, located in Bridgeport, Connecticut last night to quell disgruntled fans of "The Dark Team" who were disappointed with a goal scored by veteran star Marc "Bubba" Scosta. Mr. Scosta apparently took the puck from the mouth of his goal after Dark scored to tie the game at 4-4, and rushed it down the other end before Dark was aware of the play, and all alone, threw the puck past Mike McNiff. McNiff claims the game had already ended at 4-4, as the other goalie had apparently stated "One more minute" a couple of minutes before the play.
"That toe rag Bellini had called one more minute!" spoke out a disappointed McNiff. " And by the time Bubba scored, that minute was long gone."
Others didnt seem so concerned.
"Is the BBQ working?" was all Ray Esposito would say to us in the interviews.
"Mmmmm....cheese and bacon burgers" Exclaimed John Andros.
"I durstin fur de boordingle" stated an obviously hungry Vesa/Carl.
Police arrested several fans who were outside the packed arena, attempting to over turn Scosta's car as he sped out of the parking lot, not willing to talk to reporters or teammates. The others arrested were in altercations between Dark and White fans. Those fans will be arraigned in Superior Court today.
But what do other fans think? Participate in the poll below and let your voice be heard.

NEW ICE TIME!

Gentlemen....

-Drum Roll-

We are on at 9:15 starting tomorrow. Please adjust your masturbation schedule appropriately.

That is all.

Goal of the game 10/23/08

Mike B. with a little move gets this weeks goal of the game.

The replacement BBQ makes it's "debut" 10/23/08

Last night was COLD. Probably the first night this year we could actually feel it. 32 degrees and no moisture in the air at all made for some chilly fingertips while holding our equally chilly beverages. 

Let me backtrack a bit...great stick last night, teams again were evenly talented, even if the desire to win the "championship" was skewed. White dominated and ran over dark with a solid 5-0 win, and Mike M. took the shutout home. Heavy hitting and chippy play was the mindset all night, but in the end, pure finesse won the game.

Ok, back to the important stuff...the new grill! Tom B. decided it was time to donate his secondary grill to TWAHT, replacing the previously "stolen" grill. Now this is story unto itself, because, in fact the grill was NOT stolen! You read right. It was THROWN OUT by the geniuses at WOL who thought it was garbage. So, it is in a landfill somewhere with OUR tasty grease, never again to burn and flavor our various meats. Give me a second...sniff.

Sorry. On with the show...I think it is important, at this point to see where we started, two years ago, with the grilling at TWAHT. My old weber charcoal grill. I can still taste the lighter fluid.

Tom brings down the new stainless unit with sideburner. Holy shit, just what we needed! Another cooking surface. We might as well just all get prescriptions for Lipitor.

There was just one problem...no propane tank. Zamboni guy TJ brought out a huge tank, but unfortunately, the adapter was not the right depth. The little penis thing on the grill adapter could not go deep enough to penetrate the female adapter on the tank. Sounds familiar to some of you, I am sure (locker room pics to come). Tom is saddened by this news.

However, Rob W. comes through again. The portable coleman camping cooker is broken out, and our initial use of the new fancy BBQ is to use it as a table for the coleman. Good enough for us! Bill M. gets it ready to cook our arteries closed.

The boys wait in anticipation for the food.

The three amigos put up their favorite hand symbols. Rich does the fist pump, Mike M. is all about peace, and the evil Joe M. rocks out.

More waiting for the food...I dont think the grill was even started yet. What the fuck guys?

And now to introduce our Grill Master this week...Mr. Rob W., who was also responsible for bringing the portable grill and saving us from becoming waifs with the lack of food.

The first course. Mike B. brought these awesome appetizer meatballs. Thats all she wrote for me taking pictures of food, because in short order, the meatballs were cooked and devoured, then the hot dogs, then the sausages. I am sorry, I do not remember who brought what, except all condiments and chips and I think all rolls were brought by Fred, and the sausages were submitted by Bill P. I'll correct/update if those responsible email me!! I don't think I have ever seen grilling on top of a grill, this picture it just too funny.

Tom B, John A, and Ray E, are very happy to be part of such a wonderful organization. And to be away from the wives and kids for the night.

Three guys, all so into hockey that each MUST wear hockey apparel. Bill "go fuck yourself" P, "smiling" Mike B, and Rob "I must watch the grill and concentrate on it or all will be lost" W.
Victory is sweet for Geoff and Tj. Linus, where did you park your car dood?

I keep Rob W. company while he grills (and I get first servings of food.)

I have no frikking pictures of Pete since he has to go home to get his beauty sleep every week, and when I finally get one, it is blurry. I blame it on Bill M. It's just easier that way.


Some updated pics, taken by TJ will be posted up on the right sometime in the next day or two. I will be doing my best to have one good shot of each player in that whole column as individuals, then I will make a posting one day of all action shots. As well, for those who didnt know, I videotaped last nights action. I will be posting up some clips from that as well at some time.

Dirty water dogs 10/16/08

So another evening of grueling hockey. The teams were incredibly even this week, and once again both net minders were superb. As well, both the offense and defense for each team deserved some accolades with solid back and forth action.

Then came the "championship". Our little "play to 5" end of evening marathon that started like any other, until team dark basically imploded. In less than 2 minutes, white, led by Matt, scored 4 goals.

The response of team blue can be captured in this pic, of Scot (aka doc), who wholeheartedly responds: "It was all my fault"

Well Doc, I cant argue with a goal or two, but give credit to white, they tossed our entire 5 guys out there in the last 2 minutes like a hooker jerking off a midget. Does that make sense?

Oh well...there is always next week!

Our in house professional photographer TJ will be submitting some good action shots that Ill post up over the weekend or beginning of next week. On with the pics...

First off, the Grill Master this week was our defensive rookie sensation Chris "dirty water dog" D. Unbelievable! A whole friggin NY city hot dog cart miniaturized at WOL, but without the foreign accent (though sometimes I DO have trouble understanding Chris, and Vesa wasnt there). Hot dogs steamed in beer with potato rolls, cooked saurkraut and toppings. Kudos Chris...awesome spread!


Chris serves a hot one to Ray E....

...Ray E. eats aforementioned hot one.

Group shot...

Another group shot...

One more group shot...

Geza and Tj contemplate quantum physics over a beer...

...while John A. and Mike B. contemplate who has the fattest ass in Hollywood.

Billy M. figures Ray had the right idea. Go on TJ, you have one too!

With that kind of smile on Tom's face, Im not sure if we want to know what Rob W. and Tom B. were discussing!

Geoff joins Geza and Tj and dumbs the whole conversation down.

(From left) Mike M., Rob M., John A., and Bill M. Which one doesnt belong?

Rob W. watches Chris D. drop a hot dog (Ha ha ha! John F. ate it and didnt know until now!!!!) Rich G. strikes a pose.

Linus tells John F, Matt P, and Rob M about the woman tied up in his basement.

Scot, Ed and Linus chillin.